Tae kwon do brings out daughter's potential

Near the beginning of the school year, I enrolled my daughter in tae kwon do. I didn't know that much about it, but I'd heard it was good for kids' self-esteem.

She was starting middle school, and I could see the transition was rough.

I didn't particularly care if she excelled at martial arts. I just wanted her to have fun. But when I learned the translation of tae kwon do was "the art of kicking and punching" I thought twice about the whole idea.

Now, seven months later, she loves it. And she is great. My little princess is preparing to break her first board. In fact, her instructor has invited her to join his STORM Team. STORM is an acronym, standing for Super Team Of Role Models. She'll assist in teaching classes of lower belts, as well as the Little Dragons (kindergartners and below). It's the first step on the road to becoming a junior instructor, should she so choose, he told her.

She's nervous and excited. So am I. Sometimes, all the potential is right there. It's just that someone has to break a board over your head so you can see it.

Tae kwon do brings kids together again

As I write this, my son and daughter are playing downstairs. I don't know what they're doing, exactly, but there's a lot of thumping and bumping and they're laughing like crazy. Just listening to them is making me laugh.

My daughter is 12; my son 8. I know lot of parents who have trouble with their kids fighting at this age. After all, Katie is a tween, and Sean isn't too fond of girls his age. But I'm lucky. Since the day Sean was born, Katie has always taken care of him. And he has always idolized her.

In the early mornings, they'd make each other giggle as they watched cartoons and got ready for school. When Sean started kindergarten, Katie held his hand. They'd walk home together.

This year, things changed. Katie started middle school. Sean is still in elementary school. The mornings are quieter. Sean was lonely sometimes, and he said so.

But now they're in class together again - in tae kwon do. For months, Sean has gone with me as we took Katie to class. He'd play and color while I read. He never showed the slightest interest in joining in. Until one day, he did. Last week was his first class. He loves it. She loves being with him in a blended class; she's so proud of him. The teacher thinks it's great.

Tae kwon do is hardly the venue to get overly sentimental. But seeing them together again makes me incredibly happy.

Middle school stress solution: Tae kwon do

My daughter was incredibly excited about graduating from elementary school. A budding artist, she even drew a portrait of herself and her friends with the words "We're middle schoolers now!" above it in bold print. But the beginning of the year was a disaster.

The bus route confused her. The school pace was intimidating. And then, in gym, she hesitated before passing a sheet of paper to her partner. "Give it to me, you retard," the girl said. My daughter looked back to see the girl and her friends whispering. She was sure they were talking about her.

"I hate school," she whispered to me that night. She cried herself to sleep. She wasn't the only one.

I woke up the next day, determined to make everything right. I'd go over to that school and I'd talk to the teachers and that bratty kid and ... then I realized what thousands of moms likely realized before me. You can't do it. You want to, but you can't. You can't always be there for your kid. My daughter, always academically brilliant but socially shy, had a tough row to hoe.

But I had to do something. I remembered a few years back, when I'd been a reporter, doing a story on a program called The Ophelia Project, www.opheliaproject.org which is all about creating safe social climates for students. The Web site had a section on increasing self-esteem for girls. It suggested tae kwon do. Tae kwon do?

My daughter is an artist, not a fighter. But on a whim, I suggested it to her. She agreed, tentatively, to try it. I chose carefully - a small studio with low-key instructors I liked. Amazingly, she loved it. And she's good at it. She's made friends. Accepted challenges. She's stronger, more independent. This past weekend, she graduated to a color belt.

I'm sure it's not all the tae kwon do, but her confidence is back. So's her smile. She's talking about starting clubs in school; she laughs off the girl drama she sees. I know there'll be more challenges down the road. But for now, I couldn't be happier. More importantly, neither could she.