Friday, October 22, 2010

Step right up to the Mom Confessional


I have always been of the mind there should be a special Mom Confessional.

You know, a place where moms - basically good moms, moms who were doing their best to keep it together, moms like, say, me - could go, step behind a door and admit all their transgressions. You know, get those little pseudo-sins off their chest, give them a chance to start anew.

For instance, you could tell a Mother Superior (Get it? "Mother Superior??") about your sloppy housekeeping, your slack personal hygiene or your lax disciplinarian efforts, any of those mom areas in which you felt you were lacking.

For instance, my week might read a little something like this:

My daughter had a test this week, and I let her have Krispy Kremes for breakfast.

and

My co-worker was telling me a compelling story about her bathroom redesign, and I was actually thinking the whole time about the chicken I had put in the refrigerator and wondering if I should have put it in the freezer.

Or

I realized too late that the shirt I had chosen for work one morning had a hideous, undiagnosed yellow stain on it and instead of going home and changing I just borrowed a lapel pin from a friend and clipped together the material so it wouldn't show.

and finally

While folding pants in my little boy's room, I spied a little pile of underwear stashed in the corner. Where did it come from? How long has it been there? Should I just grab a pitchfork and bury it in the back yard? Good Lord.

See, here's the thing. I'm not a bad person. I'm not rude or disgusting - I mean, except maybe on that lapel pin day. But this is hard, balancing all this stuff - work, wife, mom, life. I think a Mom Confessional would make me feel better. Maybe it already has.

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